Cole, you have the basis for a good essay here. What I think you need to do, is to spend more time in the editing process. There were a number of errors that a good proofreading would have caught. Also, this type of formal writing should use specific language. You want to avoid phrases like "tons and tons of people." I like your interview, and you reached good conclusions about the economy. You had a couple factual errors early in the paper, but overall this is a good essay.
Cole, you have the basis for a good essay here. What I think you need to do, is to spend more time in the editing process. There were a number of errors that a good proofreading would have caught. Also, this type of formal writing should use specific language. You want to avoid phrases like "tons and tons of people." I like your interview, and you reached good conclusions about the economy. You had a couple factual errors early in the paper, but overall this is a good essay.
ReplyDelete85/100